Things Which Need To Go Part 1

Here I am again with a few thoughts on things which need to go. Things which especially the hero should no longer do. Things which authors should do their best to avoid. I’m sure it’s not just my list here, either, but I take full responsibility for it, nevertheless. It’s my blog, after all. Because this list got shockingly long, there is a follow-up post with part two of it.

1. The forced romance and the woman as a trophy

A lot of Hollywood movies are guilty of these two tropes, which also happen a lot together.

The forced romance goes like this: at the beginning of an awful lot of romance movies, the female lead doesn’t have the least interest in the male lead. He’s too much of a jerk, nerd, not her taste, not the right gender - you get the drift. But Mr. Movie Hero works hard on this, approaching the woman over and over again, putting pressure on her, wearing down her defences until, by the end of the movie, she falls for him. Apart from promoting the completely wrong ‘no means yes’ idea, this is very unrealistic and not really romantic. If it happened to you in real life, you’d get a restraining order about an hour into the movie (faster with a good lawyer). This doesn’t mean the hero can’t win a woman by the end, but what is shown in this trope is not him changing to become the kind of guy she’d want to date (as is the case so often with the ‘girl wants boy’ variety where the bookworm undergoes a change to be pretty enough for the athlete or something like that). It’s not showing him realize he’s been a jerk and become someone else, someone better (which would be totally okay, stories should include character growth for the lead). No, he is wearing her down until she finally caves in and goes out with him, despite the fact that he’s still being a jerk (perhaps even more so by using the strategies of pickup artists to get her). In the end, the message here is not ‘you can win love by becoming a better person,’ but instead ‘if you’re annoying enough and don’t give in, she’ll be yours eventually.’ Which, as already mentioned, will get you in trouble in real life.

The woman as a trophy is just as bad. In almost every action movie (if there’s a female at all), the hero will in the end come out with ‘the girl’ by his side. She might not want him at the beginning, she might even be on the other side, but by the end she’s his - in the truest meaning of the word. She has become a trophy for the hero, an additional ‘well done’ for his hard work. Not because she wants to, not because she decided on it, but simply because that is the way Hollywood writers (and others) reward the hero. In a way, the female part in a forced romance is also a woman as a trophy. For his hard work, Mr. Hero Guy gets the woman, even though she doesn’t really like him. Why? Because everyone knows a woman’s will doesn’t count, dummy. That is the message those stories sent out deep inside.

Why are those tropes bad? Because they give the audience the impression that the hero is ‘entitled’ to the woman. Because they suggest that ‘no’ really is meaningless, because you don’t have to listen. How many guys think that’s true in real life, too? How many men don’t take a ‘no’ from the woman at the bar/the colleague at work/the pretty neighbour seriously, because everyone knows women only say ‘no’ because they want to be conquered.

Update: in the history of mankind virtually nobody ever ‘wanted’ to be conquered. Conquering is essentially not possible if the other side wants it. Conquering always means taking something against someone else’s will.

As I said, this is for writing heroes. Your villain can try to conquer someone as often has he wants. (Let’s face it: he’s not getting the girl in the end, anyway.) You don’t have to have love at first sight in your story, but if you want the female lead to change her mind about the male lead, make the male lead worth changing their mind for. Make him become a better person, someone who has proven himself worthy not by wearing the girl down, but by doing something really good. And make her change of heart believable. Women don’t throw themselves at guys, just because the guys have an ample number of bruises.

2. A woman’s fate as a man’s motivation

Also a trope which happens way too often. There’s even a specific term for some of it: ‘fridging the girlfriend.’ What it means is this: a woman gets killed/kidnapped/raped/tortured so her boyfriend, father, son, or husband has a reason to become a hero.

The only reason for the woman to exist in this kind of narrative is to serve as a motivation for the hero. She gives him agenda, but has none of her own. It ties in nicely with the whole ‘damsel in distress’ trope, which is seriously overdone by now, too.

Why is this trope bad? Because it reduces a character (and especially stories focused on one male lead on a personal quest often have few characters overall) to merely being a story device. It reduces the relationship of quite often the only female with a name in the whole story to ‘make the hero take up a sword and go out and fight evil.’

In this case, it’s a clear ‘stop doing that’ for the villain as well as for the writer. If you have no better way to make sure the hero engages in heroics, you might want to review your story so far. How about attacking the hero personally? Taking his favourite toy? Eating the last bit of his favourite food? For some guys, that would be enough to start a fight. Or throw him a bone, something intriguing. Honestly, there are a lot of better ways to inspire heroic behaviour than just killing off a woman.

3. Rape as the only way of making women strong

That one has been used a lot recently. It seems as if the only reason writers these days can think of why a woman might become ‘strong’ by taking up weapons and fighting for herself is being raped. There are several problems with this trope.

First of all, rape is nothing to make fun of or take lightly. Rape is a thing which lasts for a long time for the victim, which goes on hurting the victim usually for the rest of their life. It’s also something which has been used far too much in literature, TV, and movies recently, because it also allows to show a bit of a sexual thrill while it happens. Even stories already rich in sex, like Game of Thrones, have been ‘spiced up’ with non-consenting sex scenes (aka. rape) for TV. Rape should not always be the first choice for giving a character motivation.

Second, while trauma can make people stronger (following the old adage that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger), trauma comes in a wide variety of ways: loss of those you love (although you might want to be careful with that one, see above), abuse (not necessarily the sexual kind), being in a war zone, being almost killed, growing up in a dangerous or very hostile environment. So if you’re looking for a reason why your female lead is strong and can take care of herself, consider making her a street rat who has been forced to survive on her own since an early age. Or make her a war survivor, thrust into it as a civilian who learned to use weapons to stay alive. Or make her one of the children of an abusive father (or stepfather or foster father, if you wish), who stood up to him and walked away (or even gave him a beating in return for those she and her siblings were subjected to). There are many ways to turn a woman into a ‘strong woman.’

Third, strong doesn’t have to mean ‘ready to use weapons and to kill.’ You know who’s extremely strong? The single mother who raises her three kids alone. The stay-at-home mum who takes up work after her husband has been injured so severely he can’t work any longer (and the dad who then takes over the mother’s role without feeling ‘effeminate’ because of it). The young woman who defies expectations of society to choose a job which only men do normally. The woman who stands up for those weaker than her, even if she does it through words or simple deeds instead of with a weapon.

Fourth, some people are born strong. I’m not a believer in ‘natural callings’ divided by gender myself. I think every human is born as an individual. As individuals, we have our strengths and weaknesses. There is no reason why a girl born with the abilities of a warrior shouldn’t choose this path freely, without any trauma to push her in that direction. Jane, my secret agent, is an example of that. She found her own niche with the work she does and she likes it. She was never abused, raped, or otherwise submitted to trauma so she developed a wish to be like that. She was born that way.

Why should you avoid that? Rape is a topic which can trigger a lot of people, for one thing. There are a lot of rape survivors. And it’s one of the few traumas which happen almost exclusively to women (which makes things even harder for the men they happen to). If you need a trauma for your character, look for something else. Attempted murder or the devastations of war are just as serviceable, as is an abusive upbringing or a world full of dangers.

In addition, the notion that only a warrior can be a strong woman should be retired. Just as the notion that only a warrior can be a strong man. Write more diverse characters and you will get more diverse stories. And if you need the strong badass who wields a sword with ease, keep the lists above in mind. There are other ways to make characters strong and trauma isn’t always needed.

I actually had some more points here, but the post is already getting horribly long, so stay tuned for part two of ‘Things which need to go’ on this channel in a week.