Brian Helsing Review

After reading my way through the novels in a hurry, I felt compelled to write a review about the series “Brian Helsing: The World’s Unlikeliest Vampire Hunter.” I’m still compelled to write it. For one thing, the series is extremely funny (especially if you like Discworld or the Myth Adventures series). I’m not saying author Gareth K. Pengelly is equal in ability to the great and sadly deceased Sir Terry (may the clacks forever carry his name), but he manages to write a really good series with a really unusual main character. And to do so with fun, geeky references, and a lot of good action to boot.

Brian Trelawney is not exactly what you’d call hero material. At the beginning of the first novel, he’s a used-car salesman who doesn’t even own a car, but drives to work on an old, unreliable moped. He’s tall, but lanky, so more of a stick figure than of a hulk. He’s horribly bad at everything which demands social skills (which doesn’t exactly make him a good car salesman). He’s clumsy and not good with money, either. In short: he’s the kind of guy who croaks as one of the first in a horror movie or only survives by pure luck. In his case, though, his survival of a test drive has more to do with his neurosis-wracked brain being immune to the glamour many supernatural creatures, specifically vampires in this case, are capable of. That’s why he’s still alive by the time a vampire hunter turns up and faces off against the vampire in question (Cassandra, who will continue to be a pain in Brian’s arse) and dies. Brian manages to drive the vampire off by driving over her (although the UV grenade the dying vampire hunter throws also has something to do with that) and just comes at the right moment to be entrusted with a strange ring - which he puts on several hours later, after a talk with his best friend in the pub. A little later than that and high on weed, he kills his first vampire, more by accident than by design. And on the next day, he meets up with the masters behind the Order behind Helsing - for that is who he has now become, whether he likes it or not.

The first novel plays off well against the expectations of the audience. Neil, the good-looking, womanizing friend of Brian’s should actually be the hero, that much is for sure. He’s in good shape, looks the part, and has much less fear, neurosis, or other troubles to deal with, too. But it’s Brian who puts on the ring and can’t take it off again. It’s Brian who was chosen, both by the ring and by his predecessor, Helsing XII. And, unlike your regular movie about the loser turning hero, we don’t get a quick training montage which ends with Brian being the worthy successor to his predecessors (12 overall so far, obviously), we merely get a Brian who does his best to channel the powers of the ring (which do give him the necessary skills, stored there for use) and to stay alive during his meeting with a banshee. Brian, that much is obvious, is on a long, winding, and painful road to becoming a hero - and one who had no say whatsoever in his rise to that status. Brian doesn’t want to be a vampire hunter. He would even prefer being killed so the ring could be passed on to going out there and facing creatures like that vampire who almost did him in and got him fired (imagine the look of a used mini after a vampire dug her talons in it and then imagine a boss who isn’t too happy with Brian before it all happens). In short: he acts as most of us normal people would probably act in his situation. But giving up isn’t an option, so over time, Brian comes to terms with being Helsing, the hunter of all monsters. Only, not all supernatural creatures are monsters. Some merely misunderstand the use people can have or are manipulated by humans.

The great thing about the series - well, one of the great things about the series - is that it shows the audience how Brian is growing. Not in a quick montage, but over the course of the books. Brian doesn’t snap his fingers and becomes the perfect vampire hunter. Neither does the Master of Magic do so. Brian learns. He learns to trust the ring and the powers stored there (such as the experience of the 12 before him). He learns to make good use of the strength and reaction speed which has been fed to his body by that ring. He learns to trust himself, not to be that neurotic and afraid of everything. He learns that he is more than he thought before - and not because of the ring. His inborn abilities are what has drawn the ring to him, not to Neil or anyone else. He grows more comfortable in his own tall and lanky body, more ready to shoulder the immense responsibility of being Helsing. And, since he’s not a trained warrior, unlike his predecessors, he’s more likely to look for other solutions than the flaming sword (which he has) or any of the many weapons the masters can set him up with. He may, indeed, be the Helsing for the new millennium.

Another thing which is just as important as Brian’s growth, however, is the wealth of supporting characters. Whether the four masters, his friend Neil, his girlfriend Scylla (who is a water nymph and later on his ex), the weapon smith Frank (who is more than one might expect), the oni-hunter Aimi, or even his pain in the arse Cassandra (who is unusually powerful even for a vampire, being very old and very closely related to the first one), they all have distinct characters and don’t only exist to hand him stuff or look up at him adoringly.

Then, finally, there is a wealth of references in the books, from Brian referring to the spirit of his direct predecessor whom he can talk to through reflective surfaces as his personal Obi-Wan over the games he plays right to various cultural references. That coupled with the great humour and Brian’s rather irreverent thoughts makes for a very good and funny read.

I’ve enjoying myself very much, reading the series (seven are out so far and I intent to continue with future ones). The books aren’t horribly long, but that’s good, because it means they don’t drag. Every book is also focused on one type of enemy (unless they’re vampires, apparently, those just turn up), so Brian has yet to meet a lot of different supernatural creatures. So far, he’s met vampires, a banshee, a few water nymphs, a pack of werewolves, a kappa, a witch, a middle-eastern sorcerer, and a full circus of vampires and other supernatural beings. The author does a good job with making sure Brian, despite having mastered channelling ley-lines in the third novel, will not become a confident, perfect monster hunter in a hurry. And that’s good, because being Helsing despite not being a badass warrior is what makes him such an interesting character.

With the books not overly long and the first one free at Amazon, I can only recommend “Brian Helsing: The World’s Unlikeliest Vampire Hunter” for your reading pleasures. The stories are fun to read, the characters have their quirks, and the situations are mad in an enjoyable way. While I wouldn’t want to live Brian’s life, I sure as hell enjoy reading about it.