Conflict is not Violence

In every discussion about writing topics, there will always be two factions: those who insist a story needs conflict and those who insist that it doesn’t. The problem with this? A wrong understanding of the word ‘conflict’ when it comes to writing. Many of those who insist a story doesn’t need conflict do so because they rightfully think that a story doesn’t need fights and explosions and car chases. They equate ‘conflict’ with ‘violence.’ Yet, that is not the case, at least when it comes to storytelling.

When it comes to storytelling, ‘conflict’ means that there is something opposing the main character’s goals.
That can lead to violence if the story is going in that direction. In an action-based story, people will expect some action and that usually takes the form of fights, car chases, explosions, daring escapes, and suchlike. Those stories usually include violence of some sort — it’s expected by the audience and it’s what the author has to deliver on.
Yet, romance stories, for instance, rarely have outright violence in them (that is, if romance is the main theme, not if a romantic subplot exists in another story). Conflict in a romance story is often delivered in the form of a second suitor or a family who rejects the main character’s choice in love interest or a misunderstanding. Sometimes, it also takes the form of outside obstacles, such as the love interest moving to a different location in a setting where travel is challenging.
‘Conflict’ in a story is the main obstacle between the main character and their goal. It’s something the main character has to move out of the way. That can be done with violence, so the climax of a story can be an epic sword fight between the main character and the villain. That can be done with cunning if the main character gained enough support in the senate to pass a law which makes life better for the regular people. That can be done by convincing the love interest’s parents that the main character is a good person and worthy of the love interest.

Often, deciding on the genre a story should be part of is already deciding on the kind of conflict. In an espionage story, the conflict is usually about the MacGuffin — the object which all sides fight about. In a romance story, the conflict is usually something which keeps the lovers apart. In a detective story, the conflict is the case — will the detective solve it or will the culprit get away?
Once the main conflict is chosen, it gets woven into the plot. The main plot of every story is based on the conflict, on the tries of solving it until the climax in which the main character either succeeds or fails for good. There may be smaller conflicts in the story, too — longer stories usually have quite some different plots with different conflicts —, but the main focus should always be on the main conflict.
The conflict doesn’t have to involve an antagonist or villain, either. A conflict can be with nature, for instance with the main character trying to survive a storm, flood, or earthquake. A conflict can be a simple problem, such as the protagonist not being able to eat their lunch at their regular place because it’s suddenly closed. A conflict can be a misunderstanding, which is a favourite one for romance stories where the main character and their love interest are kept apart by a wrong idea about the other one based on something that was misunderstood by one or both of them.
In all of these examples the conflict is neither violent nor does it involve a human (or monstrous) antagonist. Conflict can arise from other things as well.

There are also many ways to resolve a conflict which do not involve violence at all.
Some conflicts are better resolved through diplomacy — and not just among politicians. The “Brian Helsing” series regularly has Brian resolve a conflict with a supernatural being not by killing them (although that happens sometimes), but by listening to their problems and finding a solution that doesn’t get humans killed or maimed. He suggests that the sea nymphs who eat humans every now and then should try human-made food instead. He listens to the infamous Black Agnes and learns that she actually doesn’t kill children — she takes those mistreated by their parents and raises them as her own. He learns that the only reason why the demons want to conquer earth is because living in Hell is constant torture for them and manages to strike up a deal with the master of the Dreamtime to let them live there (as the Dreamtime is infinite and its master can shape parts of it as they want). All of this happens because Brian doesn’t immediately kill monsters, he listens to their side of things.
Compassion, friendship, communication — all of these things can be used to resolve a conflict. The two lovers who have fallen for a misunderstanding can put things right by talking to each other. The two competitors who both want to get that job might find out that it’s not all that great or that there’s a way to share the position which might be even better. Instead of fighting each other, the enemies find that they want the same thing and can obtain it better by working together. Not every climax, not every resolution for a conflict has to be violent. It depends on the type of story.

Examples for ‘conflict-free’ stories that get named a lot are vignettes and fan-fiction fluff stories. While those work with less conflict, that doesn’t mean that every story works like that.
A vignette is not a full story and not every scene of a story must be conflict-laden to work. On the other hand, even a micro-story must have some kind of stakes, no matter how trivial they might seem.
Fan-fiction is based on character whom the reader is already attached to. Readers of fan-fiction search for stories based on their favourite characters or pairings, so everything involving them might work. A fluff fan-fiction which is just a nice evening for their favourite couple or something similar doesn’t need stakes, it’s a comfort read. Yet, this fluff piece doesn’t need to generate interest in or attachment to the characters involved, as they’re already established.

Again, keep in mind that ‘conflict’ in the context of writing advice doesn’t mean ‘violence.’ There can be violence involved, depending on what kind of story you’re writing, but saying ‘a story needs conflict’ doesn’t mean that the story needs car chases, explosions, and fights to the death. Your main character must face an obstacle and the main plot of the story must revolve around removing or otherwise passing the obstacle. That is what ‘a story needs conflict’ really means.